Being Content: What's the Secret?

Happiness, contentment, satisfaction, wholesomeness: These are words that evoke a sense of positivity in most of us. We're all struggling to attain our definition of happiness. Instead of mentioning what we should do to attain happiness, I will mention what we need to avoid if we are to be truly happy. Also, this topic stems from some of the personal battles that I've fought with my nafs. Overcoming feelings of envy, arrogance, and anger is my biggest challenge. My struggle with them is ongoing. Few are those who overcome these negative traits completely. I would like to share some of the ways I have learned to overcome them, at least temporarily.

1. Envy: I am thankful to Allah that he has blessed me with a good life. A good source of income, a loving family to fall back on, good health, and countless blessings I do not have space to mention here. But despite all of this, sometimes I am affected by envy. The first thing to understand is that it is human tendency to feel this way. In fact, there are certain forms of envy that are even permissible. However, negative envy or jealousy is dangerous.

“There should be no envy (hasad) except between two people, a man to whom Allaah has given (knowledge of) the Qur’aan, so he recites it night and day, and a man to whom Allaah has given wealth, so he spends it (in good deeds) night and day.” (narrated by Muslim, 815)

“There has come to you the disease of the nations before you, jealousy and hatred. This is the ‘shaver’ (destroyer); I do not say that it shaves hair, but that it shaves (destroys) faith. By the One in Whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter Paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Shall I not tell you of that which will strengthen love between you? Spread (the greeting of) salaam amongst yourselves.” (A hasan hadeeth. Jaami’ al-Tirmidhi, 2434)

So this hadeeth tells us how dangerous envy is and how it can be dealt with. Another effective way to combat envy is to look at the less fortunate among us in terms of worldly comforts and possessions. This is a strong antidote for envy. The trick here is presence of mind. The moment you feel envious or jealous, think of the many people that are poorer than you, less healthier than you, and less comfortable than you and you will start counting your blessings.

2. Arrogance: Arrogance does to your Eemaan what rust does to Iron. It is what caused Iblees to fall from grace. It is the reason many people commit sins openly, without shame. It is what causes human beings to hate one another. It is what deadens the heart and blocks all chances of hidaayah.

“No one who has an atom’s-weight of arrogance in his heart will enter Paradise.” A man said, “O Messenger of Allaah, what if a man likes his clothes and his shoes to look good?” He said, “Allaah is Beautiful and loves beauty. Arrogance means rejecting the truth and looking down on people.” Narrated by Muslim, 91.

The best way to deal with arrogance is know that you are a small creation in this vast universe that Allah has created. In the billions of galaxies, containing billions of stars, containing billions of planets, of which planet earth is just one, with billions of people. You are 'just' one of them. A small grain of sand on a beach. You are nothing. And if Allah were to forsake you, just for a second, you would not survive. And he commands that you should not be arrogant. You'd have to be foolish to go against this command.

3. Anger: Controlling my anger has been a huge challenge for me. It pains me when I reflect back at the times when I get angry. All the bad things I say to my loved ones. The hearts I break. The end result of this being regret. Again, controlling tempers requires a lot of presence of mind.

“…who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily, Allaah loves Al-Muhsinoon (the good‑doers).” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:134]

This should be a strong motivator for us all. If I can master 'the art' of controlling my anger, I will find myself to be a better person and worthy of being loved by Allah. If you find yourself frequently getting angry over something, remove it from your life. If it's an issue with a co-worker, try talking to them. Ignoring problems doesn't always make them go away. Removing the cause for anger is a good practical step. However, when things go beyond your control, remember the Ayah above.

In conclusion, I would say that there are numerous texts from the Qur'aan and saheeh sunnah that give us ample reasons to give up these bad traits and adopt a good attitude. Reading them, memorizing them, and pondering over them can help us build our character and overcome negativity. And the strongest force of all is supplication or dua to Allah. Without him we are utterly helpless and powerless to change what is within us.